Nana treats Mariam the way she does because Mariam is the manifestation of all of Nana's mistakes and the reason she was deprived of her lifestyle. She is resentful and harsh towards Mariam possibly to prepare her for the harsh world she will encounter, and be forced to deal with like she did.
Nana gives many warnings to Mariam including men always accuse women, women must learn to endure and women "like" to suffer.
Like compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman.
Only one skill. And it's this: tahamul. Endure.
As a reminder of how women like us suffer, she'd said. How quietly we endure all that falls upon us.
These quotes relate to Mariam's marriage to Rasheed because she quietly endures the suffering and pain of her marriage and all that Rasheed is constantly wrongly accusing her of.
Jalil's relationship with Mariam seems very fake and forced. Although one must take into consideration how easily he could've abandoned her altogether, it shows he's at least making some sort of effort. (so he must've loved her). It also shows his cowardice, by sacrificing her well-being for his reputation.
The writer connects Jalil and Rasheed by Mariam's want for a stronger relationship with both the men but they never reciprocate the relationship. Both men also care strongly about people's opinions of them and their societal obligations.
Mariam, Fariba and Laila are all connected by Mariam and Fariba can communicate in Mariam's relationship and Fariba is the only person Mariam really talks to outside of her home.
Mariam and Laila and their family relationships.
Mariam - bastard child, father barely pays her any attention and mother is harsh
Laila - father adores her and she is his everything
Nana says, "What's the sense in schooling a girl like you? This is only one, only on skill a woman like you and me needs in life, and they don't teach it in school... Only one sill. And it's this: tahamul. Endurance."
Nana must endure: social ridicule, silence and isolation making her crazy, single parent and outcast raising a child, daughter doesn't find faults in Jalil (no healing because he's constantly present)
Mariam must endure: Rasheed's physical and verbal abuse, not being able to have a child, tensions with Mom over Jalil, harsh treatment from Nana, rejection from Mom, Jalil and Rasheed!
Laila must insure: Tariq leaving her, her parents dying, having Tariq's child without him, having Rasheed's child, thinking she's lost everyone that's important in her life
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